How Many Sheep?

Mist on the Mountain, 8 December 2017. Copyright 2017 Forgotten Fields. All rights reserved.
The sight that gave rise to the “Mist from the Mountains” esquisse. (Taken 8 December 2017)

As I develop “Mist from the Mountains”, my mother’s time as a little shepherd is of great interest to me:

“How high up the mountain did you watch the sheep as a girl?”

“High. Do you see that fold between the peaks? The kraal1 was just over the ridge.”

“How many sheep?”

“I cannot recall…”

“One?”

“No.”

“Two?”

“Hum, we must have had about twenty; then Uncle Mike would throw in his flock—so, about forty sheep.”
  1. Afrikaans, pronounced [kRaahl] with a trilled [RRR]: a pen, in this instance, for the enclosure of sheep.

It is a peculiarity of writing that the word you confidently rejected yesterday, today is suddenly perfect. Nothing has changed in the line—it is you who perceive it anew.

Niggly Positions

“Niggly Positions” Title Card, 26 September 2019. Copyright 2019 Forgotten Fields. All rights reserved.

I recently wrote that a line should, in every sense, reflect its content. This rule (which may, of course, be exquisitely broken by the capable) has a profound impact on the words within the line, the line within the stanza and the stanza within the poem.

A line is a collection of words and a stanza, a collection of lines—all in a particular order—from which the mind assembles meaning and constructs concepts, making their very position within a poem—and especially a traditional one—highly significant.

For example, in a “Mist from the Mountains” stanza variation, “below” appears in the second line of the quatrain and, therefore, above its halfway mark, undermining its meaning and compromising its import (the quatrain itself is the third of four stanzas).

Were it not for this issue, the variation would have succeeded; but in this form, it fails. To be saved, its lines must be rearranged so that “below” appears either in line three or four. This I did, considerably improving the stanza and thus the poem.